Walking the Dog Read online

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  At the emergency reception area, a nurse led her to the room where Edwin waited. One look at him, and Doreen’s heart wrenched.

  He sat slumped in a chair with his face in his hands. On the table beside him were eight or so Styrofoam coffee cups with the edges picked ragged, pieces of white foam chips strewn everywhere. Instead of his normally straight and confident posture, his shoulders hunched in defeat as he sat in misery.

  He looked pitiful and alone.

  As the nurse left, Doreen silently crossed the room to stand in front of him. When she gently placed her hand on his shoulder, he flinched nervously and raised his head. Dark circles shadowed his eyes, and his face was drawn and pale. Doreen feared the worst.

  As soon as he laid eyes on her, Edwin reached out to Doreen and pulled her into a tight embrace. Leaning his face into her stomach as she remained standing, he drew a ragged sigh.

  “Thanks for coming.” His voice was soft, but hoarse, the stress of the night apparent in his shaking hands.

  Doreen stroked his soft hair as a means of comfort, discovering it messy and tangled, probably from running his hands through it hundreds of times throughout the strain of the evening. “How are you?”

  “I gave blood earlier, and I don’t feel so good. I think I could throw up.”

  She studied the mass of empty coffee cups. That much bad hospital coffee would have been enough to turn anyone’s stomach. Having donated blood before, she knew it could leave a person feeling queasy. They would have given him a glass of juice and a cookie afterward, but she also knew he wouldn’t have eaten since supper time, which was over ten hours ago. Between the coffee, giving blood, hunger, and all the stress, no wonder he felt ill.

  “I’ve got a granola bar in my purse. Do you want it?”

  He shook his head, his forehead still pressed tight against her stomach.

  “Any word?” she whispered.

  He shook his head again, his grip tightening behind her back. Edwin drew a deep breath and held her like a drowning man clinging for dear life before he finally went under. “No, but they’re not optimistic. Last I heard was over an hour ago, they’re both still in surgery. Neither my mom or dad is expected to make it. But no one’s come with any bad news yet.”

  “Oh, Edwin. . .” She ran the fingers of both hands into his hair and rubbed her thumbs against his temples. She didn’t know what else to do but let him talk.

  “The police have witnesses who saw the other car run a red light at a high speed and hit them broadside, sending them into oncoming traffic, right into a dump truck.” Edwin stopped to draw a shuddering breath. “Doreen, the other driver was drunk. He walked away, and my mom and dad are going to die.” His shoulders heaved as he started to sob.

  Her hands left his hair and slipped onto his shoulders. Tears stung her own eyes as she listened to his outpouring of emotion, but she choked them back. He needed her to be strong for him, making her doubly grateful that she could be there for him. She couldn’t imagine how horrible it must have been for him to be alone so long in the cold sterile atmosphere of the hospital, waiting for an outcome that didn’t have much hope.

  “Why?” he sobbed. “Why them? Why did this have to happen? If they die, it will be for nothing.”

  Doreen’s heart was breaking for him. “I don’t know, I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. And I wish there was something I could say or do for you, but the best thing I can do is pray.”

  He nodded into her stomach and gulped for breath. “I’d like that. I’m new at this, and really don’t know what to say.”

  With difficulty, she composed her thoughts. A few days ago she had told him that no magic formula existed to make God give you what you want, no matter how important or necessary you thought it was. Sometimes bad things happened to good people, and there was nothing anyone could do. Only God could make a miracle happen.

  Doreen sucked in a deep breath as she pried herself loose. Edwin lifted the bottom of his T-shirt and wiped his face on it. Rather than stare at him as he collected himself, Doreen gave him time to regain his composure. She sat in the chair beside him as she dug in her purse for a tissue, and handed him the granola bar at the same time. He stared at it like it was a foreign substance, but ate it anyway, and stuffed the wrapper inside one of the many shredded cups.

  “Let’s pray now. Just tell God how you feel, ask him for what you want. It’s okay to beg, whatever you’re feeling in your heart. You don’t have to say anything out loud. Go ahead, Edwin, talk to God. He hears your thoughts, whatever they are.”

  Angling herself toward him, she grasped both his hands, but he pulled his fingers out of hers, shifted closer until they sat side by side and embraced her fully, resting his forehead on her shoulder. “I need to hold you close, Doreen, to feel you breathe, and feel your warmth. I feel like a part of me has been ripped away.”

  She nodded, then rested her head against his. Alone together, the room silent except for the typical hospital background noise, she felt rather than heard his ragged breathing, released in sporadic sighs as he prayed in his own way. Doreen prayed in silence with him, grateful to be able to share this private moment in God’s presence with him. She offered up her own prayers, not only for Edwin’s strength and peace, but for the recovery of his parents, praying for the miracle that would save them.

  Holding him tight, she felt his breathing become more even as he continued to pray silently. How she loved him at that moment. She deeply yearned for something to strengthen and console him, but all she could think of was to hold him to offer him comfort. She rubbed circles on his back, and he sighed, gave her a gentle squeeze, but otherwise didn’t move.

  As she continued to hold him, Edwin became more relaxed, and the more relaxed, the heavier he got. She continued to rub soothing circles as the time dragged. The clock on the wall neared seven, and Doreen knew in half an hour Edwin should be arriving at work, which of course he was in no condition to do. It had been a while since they spoke, and although she didn’t want to disturb him, she had to move. Edwin was squashing the breath out of her.

  “Edwin?” she whispered softly, but he didn’t respond. “Edwin?”

  His arms slowly floated down, sinking to rest on the chair behind her back. He was asleep. Thoroughly exhausted, after being awake for over twenty-four hours, the trauma and stress had taken its toll.

  Gently, Doreen cradled his head with one hand and the center of his shoulders with the other, and lowered him as gently as his weight would allow. Once she had him lying across the chairs, she lifted his legs up until he lay flat along the row. He covered five chairs.

  She couldn’t help herself. Doreen sat in the chair nearest his head and watched him sleep. Unable to stop herself, she gently caressed his cheek, feeling the scratchy stubble of his beard against the softness of her palm. It pained her to see him so helpless. Even fast asleep and completely relaxed, his face showed the strain of the night, and she closed her eyes in a short prayer for good news when he awoke.

  To pass the time, she leaned back in her chair, rested her feet up on the chair across from her, and picked up an old magazine from the table. Before long, the words became a blur, and as her eyes got heavier and heavier, her head slumped forward. A slight noise in the hall brought her eyes open as her head jerked up with a start.

  She checked her watch. In ten minutes, Edwin was due to arrive at his job. She turned her head. He hadn’t moved a muscle.

  She decided to call his boss to explain Edwin’s absence and walked into the hall to use the pay phone. Even if they heard good news, he still wouldn’t be in any condition to go to work. She swallowed, hoping the news would be good as she paged through the phone book, looking for the name of the courier company where he worked.

  The receptionist answered on the first ring, making Doreen realize she had not rehearsed what she was going to say. “I’m calling for Edwin Olson, he won’t be in today, and I was wondering if you would connect me with the right p
erson.”

  “That would be Mr. Randolph. One moment.” With a click and a ring, she waited.

  “Randolph,” a male voice answered sharply.

  “I’m calling for Edwin Olson,” Doreen repeated meekly. “He won’t be in to work today.”

  For a few seconds, the man remained silent as he contemplated her message. “Who is this?” he asked. “Wait, let me guess, you’re Doreen. Has something happened to Edwin?”

  She wondered how Edwin’s boss knew her name. “No,” she stammered, “he’s okay, but his parents were in a car accident yesterday evening, and he’s been at the hospital all night. He’s just fallen asleep now. I was wondering if it was all right if he didn’t come in today.”

  Mr. Randolph paused. “How bad is it?” Doreen strained the phone cord to peek back at Edwin, still flaked out, sprawled across the hard, vinyl chairs. One arm now rested across his face over his eyes.

  She didn’t know how much information it was proper to give him, but decided to go with the complete truth. “Both his parents were in a car accident. They’ve been in surgery all night, and I’ve been told it doesn’t look good. We haven’t heard the results yet, so I, uh, I’m not too hopeful. . .” Doreen gulped and let her voice trail off. Squeezing her eyes shut, she dreaded the outcome, once again praying for a miracle.

  “Tell him to take all the time off he needs, and keep me up-to-date. And tell him I’ll be praying for him and his family.”

  Doreen opened her mouth, but no sound came out. A click echoed in her ear, so she hung up the phone and returned to Edwin, still sleeping, sprawled out on the hard vinyl chairs.

  Now that Edwin’s job had been taken care of, what about hers? Bill had said once that he could fill in for her in case of emergency. The situation with Edwin’s parents didn’t directly affect her. Nevertheless, it seemed heartless to leave Edwin alone while his parents’ lives hung in the balance.

  She stood watching Edwin sleeping as she battled with her decision. She couldn’t leave without telling him, but neither did she want to wake him to tell him she was deserting him to go about her business. When he said he needed her, she came, and she intended to see him through to the conclusion of the crisis, no matter what the outcome.

  She walked back to the phone to call Bill. As she was dialing the first digit, a doctor walked past her and into the waiting room. With a start, her heart skipped a beat, she fumbled the phone, hung up, and ran to be beside Edwin.

  “Mr. Olson?” the doctor said gently, standing beside Edwin’s prone form.

  At the sound of his name, Edwin woke with a start. He jerked to an upright position, then blinked repeatedly as he swayed, probably from sitting up too fast. Doreen pressed one hand onto his shoulder to keep him seated. That was all he needed, if he passed out on top of everything else. She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

  With a pounding heart, part dreading and part anticipating the news, Doreen held her breath.

  Edwin was shaking. His heartbeat raced as the fog in his head cleared. His legs trembled so badly he was afraid to stand. Feeling Doreen’s gentle grip on his shoulder gave him the strength he needed to hear the report, whatever it might be. He placed one hand over Doreen’s on his left shoulder and waited.

  “Yes?” Edwin gulped, almost choking on the tightness in his throat.

  The surgeon held his gloves with one hand and ran his other hand over his hair, pushing it off his forehead. “They’re both stable. So far, so good,” he said gravely, pausing to allow his statement to sink in.

  Edwin could see from the surgeon’s face and tone of voice that the ordeal was far from over for his parents.

  “But?” he asked, clearing his throat.

  The surgeon looked at him with a tired smile. “But it’s been a rough surgery for both of them, and it’s going to be a long recovery, but with the proper rest and care, both of them should make a complete recovery.”

  Edwin squeezed his eyes tightly shut. “Thank you,” he whispered hoarsely. With his eyes open, he stood to face the surgeon on shaky legs. “Thank you so much. When can I see them?”

  The surgeon nodded wearily, signs of wear from all-night surgery evident on his face. “Both of them are still under heavy sedation, and you can only see them for five minutes. The nurse will take you.” He turned and left the room.

  A nurse now beckoned them from the doorway. “This way,” she said as she smiled, holding out one hand as a signal for them to follow her.

  Edwin grasped Doreen’s hand, then let go. Turning to the nurse, he lifted one finger, signaling to her that he would be a few seconds. “You don’t have to see this,” he said quietly. “I’m not sure what to expect, but I’m sure it won’t be a pretty sight, and you don’t know them. You don’t have to come with me, you can wait here, or go home if you want.”

  Doreen looked up at him, then reached out to hold one of his hands with both of hers. “If you want, I’ll go with you.”

  Edwin squeezed his eyes shut. He’d never loved her more. He wanted to tell her that, but this was neither the time nor the place. He returned the gentle squeeze. “I’d like that. Thank you.”

  Together, they turned to follow the nurse to the intensive care ward, hand in hand. Heavily sedated, his parents lay in beds side by side, tubes and wires taped to them, monitors beeping, lights flashing. Looking at them this way made him feel physically sick, but he was so grateful they were alive that tears stung his eyes. A tear trickled out when he closed his eyes briefly for a short prayer of thanks. He swiped at his face with his forearm.

  “I’m sorry, but you have to leave now.” The nurse reappeared, and escorted them out.

  Edwin stared unseeing at the entrance to the ward, his mind blank.

  “I’ll drive you home. We can pick your car up tonight.”

  Wearily, Edwin nodded and followed Doreen to the parking lot. Physically and emotionally drained, he still managed to be content. If this had happened a month ago, he could picture himself pacing and swearing and punching holes in the walls at the injustice of it all. Instead, he felt at peace that his parents were alive, and the woman he loved was at his side.

  Climbing up into the van, Edwin realized this was the first time he had actually been inside of it, so he decided to check it out. Dog kennels lined the walls in neat rows, securely fastened to a framework which kept them safely stacked and accessible. A bin for leashes, a water container, and a fan were also securely bolted down for safe transport, as well as an air-conditioning unit mounted on the roof of the van.

  He grinned. “Very nice outfit. I wish I was one of your charges.”

  “You old dog, you,” Doreen chided him.

  Edwin stared out the window the entire trip home. No matter how hard he tried to concentrate, he couldn’t think. He had to blink to get his brain in gear when she pulled into his driveway.

  “Don’t worry about my car, I’ll take a cab when I wake up. I know you’re busy today, and you’ll want to go straight to sleep when you’re done.”

  The second he opened the door and stepped out, he could hear Dozer’s wild barking from inside. “I didn’t have the tape on, I wonder if he howled like he does when I go to. . .” His voice trailed off. He clamped his eyes shut, stiffened his back, and slapped his palm to his forehead. “Work! I was supposed to be at work an hour ago!”

  Placing a hand on his shoulder, Doreen shook her head.

  “No, I phoned in for you. I spoke to a Mr. Randolph and told him what happened. He said to take as much time off as you need, but he does want you to keep him informed. And he said—”

  Without waiting for her to finish, Edwin grabbed Doreen, pulling her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. At first, she was rigid, but she immediately softened, and leaned into him. “Thanks for everything, I don’t know what I would have done without you. Not only today, but every day. You’ve made such a difference in my life, you’re my very best friend.”

  Not giving her a chance to resist, Edwin lo
wered his mouth to hers and kissed her hotly and desperately with all the love in his heart. The single reason he stopped kissing her and let her go was to avoid putting on a show in front of the neighbors. With that thought in mind, he reluctantly released her.

  “See you tomorrow.” He gently kissed her again, turned, and retreated into his house.

  fourteen

  Saturday. Dog obedience day. Doreen’s favorite day.

  After sleeping through volleyball night, she suspected Edwin had done the same, since he did not phone Friday evening. Now she missed him all the more. She glanced up at the clock, wondering why he still hadn’t called. Usually, by this time on a Saturday morning, he not only would have phoned to invite himself over, he would already be knocking on her door.

  Doreen wondered whether she should phone to confirm he was coming. She refused to let her mind wander to the possibility that something had gone wrong with his parents. And certainly after kissing her the way he had when she dropped him off from the hospital there would be no hesitation or question of his welcome.

  Receiving no answer, Doreen did not leave a message on his answering machine, not knowing what to say.

  She tapped her foot, then started to pace. It was past the time of his usual arrival. Visiting hours at the hospital weren’t until afternoon. Where was he? The butterflies in Doreen’s stomach shifted into overdrive.

  In answer to her question, Gretchen started running in circles and barking, then leapt out the doggie door. Usually when someone arrived, including Edwin, Gretchen instinctively waited inside the house to protect her. Doreen’s nerves were suddenly on edge.

  With a shove, she banged the door open to see Dozer, running all alone down her long driveway, with no sight of Edwin or his car.

  The two dogs gleefully jumped in circles at each other, then ran toward her. Gretchen and Dozer whizzed past Doreen into the house. Where was Edwin?

  Doreen walked anxiously down the driveway. Unless something serious had happened, Edwin would not allow his precious dog to run off.