Changing Her Heart Read online

  She was almost sure that Randy would handle himself honorably with Eric, but she did worry about how going into a bar would affect Randy personally. She didn’t know if hanging out at the bar was part of his former ways and he missed that part of his social life, or if he had been more solitary. Although knowing him now, the way he was, she doubted Randy had ever been solitary.

  Lacey shook her head and pushed thoughts of Randy out of her head. Thinking about him only served to drive her crazy. Right now she needed to console her sister.

  Lacey started walking toward the kitchen, and as she knew would happen, Susan followed her. “How about if we make some tea?” Lacey asked over her shoulder. “Where are the kids?”

  “They’re in their rooms. They’ve already eaten, and they’re playing a bit before I put them to bed. I knew Eric wouldn’t be home for supper, but I had no idea this was going to happen. I don’t know what to do.”

  “All I can say is to listen to what Randy says. He’s been through it, and he’s okay now.” She wanted with all her heart to believe her own words, but she also believed that this time Eric was really trying, too. Eric had so much to lose, but he couldn’t seem to free himself from the bonds of alcohol addiction.

  By the time the tea was ready, they had put the children to bed. Without the children awake, the house was totally quiet, something that didn’t happen very often at Eric and Susan’s house. But that wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Tonight, too much silence would give Susan too much time to think. Therefore, Lacey did her best to occupy Susan’s thoughts by chattering more than she’d ever chattered in her whole life, mostly about nothing important. She jumped subjects so often, she didn’t know how she got from one topic to another, something she recognized as one of Randy’s habits that was apparently rubbing off on her. However, she did obtain the desired result, which was to keep Susan too distracted to worry about her husband and what he could be doing right now.

  The only thing that stopped her from more incessant talking was the sound of loud male voices at the front door.

  The door opened. Susan froze. Eric walked in the door, with Randy behind him. Eric froze at the sight of Susan.

  Lacey’s stomach rolled. She didn’t want to be a part of the coming unpleasant conversation.

  Eric walked shakily to the recliner, where he sank down. Randy remained standing in the entrance to the living room.

  Eric’s voice came out in a hoarse croak, not slurred, but not quite right, either. “I’m sorry,” he muttered.

  “Keep going,” Randy prompted him quietly.

  Eric lowered his head, staring pointedly at his shoes instead of facing Susan. “I really thought I could control myself. I didn’t mean it.”

  Susan gulped. “It’s…” Her voice trailed off. Still in the doorway, Randy frantically began shaking his head and waving his arms in the air, then pressed one finger over his lips, while Eric continued to stare down at his own feet.

  Susan closed her mouth and waited.

  “Go on, Eric,” Randy said gently, yet forcibly at the same time.

  “I thought I could do it, but I can’t. I really do need help. I couldn’t control myself. I was going to tell Randy that I didn’t want to go to any AA meetings, that I could control it, I could have just a few and leave, but I can’t.” He rested his elbows on his thighs, hunched over and covered his face with hands. “I can’t go on like this. But I don’t want anyone I know to see me. I’ll go to the meetings, but I can’t face anyone I know—at least not yet. If I have to go to church, I’ll go to Randy’s, where we don’t know anyone.”

  Randy’s eyebrows rose. “Are you sure? This is the time when you need your friends the most. I don’t know if I would be where I am today if it hadn’t been for my friends.”

  Eric shook his head, not dropping his hands from in front of his face. “I don’t have any friends left. They all hate me for what I’m doing to my wife and my family, and I can’t say I blame them. I have to make a clean break, and a fresh start. Starting tomorrow. I’ll go back to our church when I’ve got everything under control.”

  Susan opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Because Susan tended to excuse everything Eric did, Lacey had the feeling that Susan was about to say that her friends didn’t hate him, but Lacey knew that was wrong. Most of their friends had stopped hanging out with them because they didn’t want Eric to be a bad influence on their children. In some deep, underlying way, Eric probably knew it, and Susan wouldn’t admit it.

  “But it will be so hard to leave our church. All my friends go there.”

  Lacey reached over and rested her hand on Susan’s shoulder. “It’s okay. If you want, I can change churches and go to Randy’s church with you, so you will have someone there. I’ve already been to Randy’s church, and it’s very nice and very friendly.”

  Susan gulped. “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course I would. I’m your sister.”

  She didn’t want to think that seeing Randy on Sunday would mean she was going to be spending time with him seven days a week. She already saw him Saturdays after the morning meeting.

  Randy’s voice interrupted her thoughts.

  “I think it’s time to leave, Lacey. Eric and Susan have a lot to talk about.”

  “Of course.” She turned to Susan. “We’ll see ourselves out.”

  The second they were outside, Lacey looked down the block, first to the right, then to the left. “Where’s your car?” she asked.

  “I left it at the hotel. I wasn’t going to let Eric drive, so I relieved him of his keys, and I drove Eric’s car. Now I need you to give me a ride back to the hotel, so I can pick up my car. Apparently, it was a good thing we did bring both cars tonight.”

  They slid into her car naturally. It had already been commonplace for her to provide transportation for Randy every day after work. She thought back to the man she’d dated before she met Randy. Jason had always insisted on driving, even when they were using her car, a trait she found annoying and even insulting.

  Beside her, more than comfortable in the passenger’s seat, Randy rolled the window down, fastened his seat belt and leaned back, linking his fingers behind his head. “To Fifth and Main, James,” he quipped, grinning.

  Lacey pretended to be annoyed, but Randy only snickered.

  They had only gone a few blocks, and Lacey’s mood turned very serious. “I don’t know if it was such a good idea to have Eric make all those promises. He was obviously drunk. Is he going to mean it tomorrow? Do you think he’s going to follow through this time?”

  “Yes, I think he’s finally ready. What he’s done is actually pretty common. When a lot of men decide to quit drinking, knowing it’s gotten to that point of no return, they get nervous about how much work it’s going to be. They tell themselves they can control it, then go out intending to have just one, except that never happens. That’s the time they drink more than usual because it scares them to realize the hold alcohol has on them. They can’t stop. Yes, Eric was drunk, but I got to him soon enough. He wasn’t incoherent. His thinking processes are clouded, but not nonexistent. He’s quite capable of making the decision to do what it takes to sober up and stay sober.” Randy lowered his hands from behind his head, and turned toward Lacey.

  “I didn’t prompt him about changing churches, I don’t know where that idea came from. I just told him that if he finally can admit he has a problem he can’t control alone, it was time to talk to his wife about it, deal with it, and work out some compromises together. I told him that Susan would do anything to help him through this. That’s all I said.”

  Lacey let his words sink in, and Randy gave her the time she needed to think about it. “I believe you. But I do have something else to ask you. If it’s none of my business, just say so.”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Was it hard for you to go into the bar? Did you feel like sitting down with the men and having a few drinks with them?”

  “I was a l
ittle nervous. It’s the first time I’ve been in a barroom for over six years. But once I walked inside, I realized my perspective has changed. I no longer see it as a fun way to spend the evening. I know the problems the lifestyle can cause. Once I had a look at the men Eric was with, I could also tell that it wasn’t only Eric who has a serious problem, which is probably why those guys hang together. I didn’t want to join them. I only wanted to get back out. I told you before, I won’t go down that road again. God pulled me out, and I’m staying out.”

  Lacey’s thoughts raced in a million directions, wanting to believe him but being too afraid. She’d heard the same kind of comments from Eric after his last big binge. Eric always said he’d learned his lesson, that he was reformed. Yet his grand promises never lasted long. She suspected the reason had a lot to do with his ego. Eric had always needed to impress people, and the alcohol seemed to help him feel important.

  Lacey always thought that Susan might have done better to help Eric quit if she understood why he drank, and the reason Lacey saw was a means to bolster Eric’s weak personality. However, if Eric impressed anyone, it was only the other drunks.

  Which caused her to wonder why Randy drank, or rather, why he once drank. Randy didn’t seem to have any problem with weakness. He definitely wasn’t shy. Everything he did was bold and confident. He certainly didn’t seem to worry about what others thought of him, like Eric did. Randy liked everybody, despite their faults, and everybody liked Randy. He was easy to get along with, and fun. He certainly wasn’t dull or unintelligent.

  Yet there had to be something, she thought, because everyone had to have a reason to drink excessively. If she could figure out why Randy once drank, she would also know when he would be prone to craving it once again. Then she would be able to do something about it, to help steer him away from temptation before he fell to it. Then, at least a little bit, she could be safe.

  Until then, she knew that the thought of him sliding back into a lifestyle of drinking would continue to haunt her.

  Before she had a chance to consider any more possibilities, she saw Randy’s car in the parking lot and pulled in beside it.

  The roar of the loud music from the bar reached them, even from the distance of the parking lot. A group of men were standing outside, near the main entrance, talking and laughing much too loudly. Toward the rear of the building another man stood alone, with his back to everyone else, facing a tree. Lacey didn’t want to think of what he was doing.

  The place and the atmosphere gave her the willies.

  She turned to Randy as he reached for the door handle, preparing to exit the car.

  She struggled to keep her voice clear and even. “I didn’t want to say this before, but when you were gone, I was worried about you.”

  His movements froze, and he turned his head to face her. Lacey expected an impish grin and a lame joke that would lighten the moment, but his expression was the most serious she’d ever seen.

  “I don’t know whether that’s good or bad.”

  “I don’t know, either. I’m so confused. And so scared. This is moving too fast for me.”

  He reached forward and grasped her hands in his. “It’s okay. I know you’re out of your comfort zone. We’ll just take things slow. No rush, no pressure. The only thing I ask is that you trust me.”

  Before she realized what he was doing, Randy tipped his head slightly, leaned forward and brushed a slow, gentle kiss to her lips. He started to move away, but then he sighed, tipped his head a little more and kissed her again—longer, fully and more firmly. When he broke away, he moved so slowly that Lacey could feel the ever-lightening sensation of his breath on her mouth as they separated. When she finally opened her eyes his were already opened. She couldn’t do anything other than stare into the blue depths. As soon as it dawned on him that she was looking at him, he straightened and he quickly slid out of the car. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning. I hope you have some good sidewalks on sale. I know I will.”

  She barely caught on to his skewed reference to the mall’s sidewalk sale that was starting the next morning. In that split second it took her to figure it out, the door closed and he was gone.

  She watched numbly as Randy opened his car door, waved, slipped into his car and drove off without taking any time to let the engine warm up.

  Lacey would indeed see him tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.

  She pressed her fingers to her lips, still moist from Randy’s kiss, and hoped and prayed she was doing the right thing.

  Chapter Six

  “A little more to the left.”

  “Like this?”

  “Yeah, that’s great.”

  Randy stepped back and examined the positioning of the table containing his store’s featured items, priced and ready for the sidewalk sale.

  Once he was assured that his own table was straight and centered, he left Carol to her arrangements of the sale merchandise and he sauntered next door.

  When he was one step inside the opening to Lacey’s store, he called out, “Do any lovely ladies in here need a tall, dark, handsome man to help move your table?”

  The voices coming from behind one of the racks went silent. He heard the sound of muffled giggling, followed by a “Shh!”

  Lacey appeared holding a bright red T-shirt, her cheeks the cutest shade of pink. “We’d love your help.” She turned and handed the T-shirt to the person Randy still couldn’t see, and stepped forward. The giggling started again, and didn’t stop when Lacey narrowed her eyes and glared at the hidden giggler.

  Randy turned toward the table, which had only a few items piled on it.

  “Don’t say anything,” Lacey grumbled. “I made a list of things we were going to feature, but instead of piling everything up on the table, the girl who came in last night put the sale prices on everything on the list, then put everything back on the racks. As you can guess, we’re way behind trying to find everything that was marked down.”

  Randy dragged the table outside the door, then set everything into piles as Lacey and her helper frantically tossed the sale items at him as they found them.

  When Lacey stopped to throw yet another pile of clothing onto the table, Randy turned to her. “I’m working my store’s table today. Are you?”

  “Yes. I wasn’t going to, but after you told me about the chronic shoplifters, I didn’t want to put anyone too inexperienced up here. Thanks for the tip.”

  “You’re more than welcome. I was wondering—” The sound of voices echoed from down the mall. “Oops. Time’s up. I have to go,” Randy said as he glanced toward the encroaching early-bird shoppers. “I’ll catch you later.”

  He jogged the ten steps to his own table, ready for the start of what he knew would be a busy week with the sidewalk sale.

  All morning, despite the constant flow of shoppers, his thoughts kept drifting to Lacey. In past years he’d always enjoyed working the sidewalk sale, but this time, he only wanted the day to be over so he could be with Lacey, with no shoppers interrupting them.

  When lunchtime approached, he pulled out his cell phone and pushed his favorite sequence of numbers. He smiled when Lacey reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone.

  “Hi,” he crooned. “Is it lunchtime soon?”

  She moved her cell phone away from her ear, stared at it, blinked, then turned her head and stared at him.

  Randy waved. “Are we on for lunch?” he asked loudly enough to be heard from where he was standing.

  She lifted the phone and spoke into it. “Are you crazy?”

  From the distance, he watched her, studied her. Maybe he was crazy, but all he could think of was their parting last night—how he’d kissed her, and how he wanted to kiss her again.

  “Only about you,” he whispered into the phone, his voice far more husky than he meant it to be.

  She stared at him, right into his face. He was almost positive that her gaze flickered to his mouth, like she was thinking th
e same thing he was.

  Suddenly she stiffened, and she glanced at the crowd of ladies who were picking through the pile of T-shirts on her sale table.

  Lacey turned her back to him so she was facing the ladies. “It’s cute when you flirt with the young girls in the doughnut shop, but you’re supposed to be working. Quit fooling around.”

  He forced his thoughts back to the throng of people at his table. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. Seriously, I have to tell Carol when she can take her break.”

  “Anna says she’s hungry, so I’m going to let her go first.”

  “Okay. I’ll tell Carol to go now.”

  They pushed the “end” buttons at exactly the same time. Instead of clipping the phone back on his belt, Randy hit Carol’s number and told her to go for lunch.

  He didn’t know if it was the rain, or the season, or just plain luck for the mall management, but the crowds didn’t die down after the usual lunch-hour rush. Carol only took enough time to eat, as did Anna. When Randy and Lacey arrived at the food court, every seat and every bench was full, and other people with full trays were also looking for someplace to sit down.

  Lacey stood on one foot, and rubbed the top of her other foot up the side of her calf. “This is going to be the only chance I have to sit down all day. I don’t want to stand during my lunch break.”

  Randy nodded. “I know what you mean. My store has a small table and a couple of chairs in the corner of the stock room. It’s not very classy, and it’s a little cramped, but it’s a private place to sit down for a few minutes when everything else is nuts.”

  “That sounds like an offer I can’t refuse.”

  As soon as they purchased their lunches, they returned to the computer store. Carol watched every step they took as Randy guided Lacey into the back room with him. Fortunately, Carol remained silent for one of the few times in her life.

  Randy walked straight to the table, but good manners dictated that he stand and wait for Lacey to sit first.